You have done it….. hit on THE grand idea, the business idea that will light you up and change your life. The ideas don’t stop, and the inspiration keeps you awake at night. You just want to get going, you start your plan and keep having your thoughts whirling around in your head.
And then…. find that you do not get forward momentum and seem to be fighting your timelines and getting stuck, feeling like a failure right from the beginning…..
Analysis paralysis hits and you become stuck in loops of why you are not ready, what you still need to learn, why you are not good enough and why no one will think of you as the expert.
So many potential future entrepreneurs hit the pause button on their dreams only because their internal peanut gallery is taking over. As a business mentor I consistently come across the following theme while working with entrepreneurs…. Extreme self-doubt and worry about what other people think.
Sometimes, caring what others think can be a good thing. It might keep you from making a tactless remark at that work party or wearing legwarmers like you have stepped out of a workout video from the eighties (although personally I would find this cool :). Yet often, caring what others thinks holds you back from going after the dreams, passions, and goals that would really fulfil you. So, why do you hold back and more importantly, what can you do about it?
Survival Instinct – Humans are social creatures. We are driven to find those we “belong to”. Everyone craves a tribe that understands and supports them. They want to find their people and be accepted for who they are. From a primitive survival standpoint, this instinct makes sense. After all, you are more likely to survive in a hunting pack than you are if you’re out in the wild on your own.
But when you place your dreams in the hands of another you cease to be the creative, independent creature you are. You would rather watch your dreams slowly sink than risk being shunned by your people. Finding the right tribe, support system and cheerleading squad is critical! AND the knowledge that you will survive even if you make a mistake is important. Failure is key to growth – you need to fail to find the best way forward. Through the mistakes you find the essence of who you really are. If you do not fail at anything your growth potential is stunted. It is HOW you view the failure that needs to change.
Perfectionism – For some, caring what others think is driven by perfectionism. The problem with this is that it’s exhausting. It means that you are only as good as your business logo or website, your business performance or your latest qualification. You define yourself—not by who you are—but by what you do.
As a result, you may spend a lot of your time worrying about what others think of you and that your product or service isn’t ready, that it has to be perfect before launching. This can cause you to put incredible pressure on yourself and on those you love. The fear of appearing to fail may cast concrete blocks around your feet stopping you moving forward. At some point you may just need relief from this and push the pause button … again. Once again having a team of supporters who understand that you may get stuck and help you out of the mud is important to your progress. People who care about your authenticity and your “why”.
Approval Addiction –When you crave the approval of others, it stems from a desire to be liked. When you get a small taste of approval, you may be temporarily satisfied and feel good about yourself. But as soon as the latest “high” wears off, you’re chasing the approval of someone else all over again. You may also be worried that others will not approve of the way you are showing up within your business, that they can see your mistakes and that you may even appear foolish for trying.
The problem with waiting for approval is that you never get to achieve YOUR goals, you get caught in an endless loop, you may grow angry and resentful towards yourself and others and you are always doubting yourself.
You may experience one or all three of these new-business brick walls. At this point it is important to get clear about your values, your plan and what you really want.
Your values are YOUR values and should not be determined by anyone else. Determine what you value to guide you in making the best decisions for yourself. Embrace your values and use them as a filter when making decisions for yourself and your business.
You will not suddenly stop caring about what other people think overnight. It is a process, and you may find it difficult at first. But as you step outside of this need for approval, amazing things will begin happening in your life. You will start to find your own inner voice, discover a confidence you didn’t know you could have. It’s a journey to fully trusting yourself. Small successes lead to a large win. Rather than aiming for the big win, plan your small successes to-do list (I prefer to call them ta-da #includejazzhands and congratulate yourself on every tick you make on your list.
Above all, you will start to trust yourself profoundly.
And when you are stuck and hitting the brick wall ensure that you choose the guidance of professionals who can guide and mentor you through the times when doubt and worry come to visit
#business #entrepreneurs